MORE THAN COWS...
SOCIALISM
You have two cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISMYou have two cows. The Government takes both and GIVES you some milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SELLS you some milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SHOOTS you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they life for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 500 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You eat both.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.
You have two cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISMYou have two cows. The Government takes both and GIVES you some milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SELLS you some milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SHOOTS you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they life for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 500 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You eat both.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.
(The last two are from the Talking Cock website www.talkingcock.com)
posted by ah lum @ 3:40 AM
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