More Than Words, Op. 3

YOUR FUTURE NRIC...

The multi-purpose FutureCard will be the version of our perpetually metamorphosing IC in the near future. With an embedded smart chip, it can also be used as a passport, store our medical history, driver's license, act as an ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the National Library . . .what ever you do with the card . . .you will be tracked! It may also be a tracking device via GPRS (Good or Bad, depending the situation) However, a recent debate has brought to light the questionable control on access, potential information abuse and privacy infringement. As the debate rages on, I can foresee a likely scenario when ordering pizzas in the near future . . .

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AH BENG'S FUTURECARD (LIKELY SCENERIO)

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut Geylang. May I have your . . ."

Ah Beng: "Haloo, arh . . .can I orler huh . . ."

Operator: "Can I have your Future Card number first, Sir?"

Ah Beng: "It's arh . . . hold on prease, arh . . . S6102-0499-54610FC."

Operator: "OK . . . you're . . . Tan Ah Beng alias 'Or Kwee Tao' and you're calling from 17-D Lorong 14, Geylang. Your home number is 6782 8828, your office 6782 8838 and your mobile is 96828848. Which number are you calling from now Sir? "

Ah Beng: "Home lah! Wah Lan . . . How you get all my phone lumbers, arh?"

Operator: "We are connected to the 'FutureCard' system Sir."

Ah Beng: "OK lah, okay lah . . .Can I orler your Seafood Pisar . . ."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir."

Ah Beng: "Why . . . Cannot arh?"

Operator: "According to your latest medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir."

Ah Beng: "What? . . . Wah Lan! . . ..medical lecords also hab . . . you lecommend lah?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it."

Ah Beng: "Wah . . . How you know I like Hokkien mee, arh?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir."

Ah Beng: "OK . . .OK . . .Buay Ta Han . . . I give up . . . Gif me three family sized ones then, how much arh?"

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $45 . . ."

Ah Beng: "I pay by FutureCard . . . Can or not?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank $6720.55- since October last year."

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah! . . . Everything also know . . . chiat lat!"

Operator: "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir."

Ah Beng: "Okay lah . . . I run to ATM and withdraw some cash before you come my house lor."

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today . . . with the latest withdrawal of $250 for 4D and TOTO at 2.46pm."

Ah Beng: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I borrow money from my Ah Mah. How long arh?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle . . . it'll be ready in 15 minutes and you are only 5 minutes away."

Ah Beng: "Where got transport?"

Operator: "According to the details in your FutureCard", you own a Honda Scooter, registration number FE 3288 . . ."

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah!"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman . . . ?"

Ah Beng: [Speechless and calms down after being reminded of the brush with the law]

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Ah Beng: "Nothing . . . by the way . . . still got stock of that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised or not?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic . . ."

Ah Beng: [Heard cursing away as he slams down the phone and telling his family he is going to the Hawker Centre to 'Tar Pow']

posted by ah lum @ 7:30 AM