DESERT FRIENDS
A story tells of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near-miss, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped him and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you write on a stone. Why?" The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Do not value the THINGS you have in your life, but value WHO you have in your life!
FAMILY
I ran into a stranger as he passed by.
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me, too;
I wasn't really watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, I cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realized how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake that night in bed
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I was feeling very small,
And then my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed:
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son I love you too,
And I do like the flowers especially the blue."
Are you aware that if we died the next day,
The company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind
Will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it,
We pour ourselves more into work than our own family ---- an investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind this story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
(F) = FATHER
(A) = AND
(M) = MOTHER
(I) = I
(L) = LOVE
(Y) = YOU
Pass this on to everyone that you care about.
I just did!
WHICH HAUNTED ROOM WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner tells you that all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?
This is going to be very interesting . . .
Will you choose the room where:
A. A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.
B. The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing.
C. The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.
D. A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you wake up in the middle of the night.
What they mean:
A. A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.
You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to working alone. You look for stability, i.e. a job that is not easily affected by external factors and provides a steady income. E.g.: a doctor; lawyer; SOHO; teacher; administrator.
B. The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing.
You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run around or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your bosses if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day. E.g.: Civil servant; engineer computer engineer; accountant.
C. The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.
You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not like to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of changes and not routine. E.g.: marketing; insurance; sales; deliveryman; chauffeur.
D. A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you wake up in the middle of the night.
You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know who they are. E.g.: superstar; politician; PR; counter / frontline sales.
MORE THAN COWS...
SOCIALISM
You have two cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISMYou have two cows. The Government takes both and GIVES you some milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SELLS you some milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both and SHOOTS you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called "Cowkimon" and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they life for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty-two cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 500 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have three hundred people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You eat both.
A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.
A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.
A FEW OF LIFE'S UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man, who invests all your money, called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
THE WAY DOGS FEEL ABOUT HUMANS
1. When you push me away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me... not funny.
3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A DOG!!
4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet....
9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
10. Dog sweaters... Have you noticed the fur? Sheesh!
11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home!
12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
14. The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the VISIBLE fence problem!
